Expert tungsten pundit and commentator, Chris Mason has publicly announced that he is a little sick of the current Premier League format. And quite frankly, I am more than inclined to agree. It’s beginning to feel less like must-watch sporting theatre and more like a mind-numbingly bad soap opera – Hollyoaks, I’m looking at you.

Speaking to Phill Barrs – a man who reacts to a heatwave with the same level of dread as somebody trapped in a lift with a chainsaw wielding psychopath – Chris made a lot of valid points. And they are exactly the ones we are here to examine.

Since switching a few years ago to a knockout set-up with quarter-finals and the winner going on to pocket five points and a £10k bonus, it means the same match-ups happen as often as a delayed Ryanair flight. And somehow with the same amount of complaints, miserable faces and people wondering how they’ve paid forty quid for a sandwich and a bottle of water.

Take for example the leading two on the PDC Order of Merit – Luke Littler and Luke Humphries. Only a few years ago, it was a much-anticipated World Championship final which didn’t disappoint in terms of drama and quality. Nowadays, the two meet as frequently as old ladies at a bus stop.

It kinda dilutes the occasion and flattens that aforementioned anticipation. Similarly to a London Underground train, if you miss it, there’ll be another along in a few minutes accompanied by a bloke with a guitar absolutely butchering Wonderwall. What was once a game you’d set your clock to now arrives with a shoulder shrug and an air of repetitiveness usually reserved for daytime episodes of Bargain Hunt.

We need to protect this from happening. As Mace The Ace rightly said, back in the day players would meet just twice on stage over the Premier League campaign. Then of course, once more if they both made it to Finals Night at the O2. That scarcity mattered. It gave the matches a bit of spice. Now the fixture list has all the exclusivity of a Greggs sausage roll.

You see, that’s not great. Mason pointed out he used to look at which week Phil Taylor met say Adrian Lewis or Raymond van Barneveld – a clash of the big guns. Proper blockbuster stuff. Nowadays, technically speaking, it’s possible to have a Luke Derby on each of the sixteen league phase nights then another in London. Unlikely granted, but possible.

So yes, from that point of view, it’s getting a bit stale. Not sure what all the players think. A few who aren’t slow in coming forwards have aired their views. Most stay quiet and are just happy to be there rather than saying it’s pissing them off and risk not being selected again. Which is understandable really. Nobody wants to complain about the free buffet while still filling their pockets with ten grand and hotel loyalty points.

I can’t be arsed looking at the stats to see who has played who x number of times. No need, because there’s been far too many giants colliding. At this stage some of these fixtures have happened more often than Ant and Dec appearing on ITV.

For the fans in attendance, it could be juggling dolphins on stage all night for what most would know. The majority probably don’t even remember where they were the next morning and are just wondering how they somehow blasted through a hundred quid before the semi-finals. Easy – look at the lager prices at each venue. That should answer the question quickly. You practically need a small business loan to get pissed at the darts these days.

Fans watching at home – it’s probably a split decision. There is the positive in the sense no matter what game it is, it’s two elite players going at it. The quality is rarely poor. Although after a while, everything needs a shake-up. Even the greatest songs in history would annoy you if Radio 2 played them fourteen times a day between traffic updates and somebody called Linda from Swindon requesting Meat Loaf. And for the Premier League, it appears that time is now.

So what’s the alternative? Back to the old format? Tell the lads: You know we used to give you £10k? Well now we ain’t. That conversation would go down like Ted Hankey turning up at a Teen Disco.

Although you could offer the same monetary bonus for, say, the highest checkout or who best conducts the crowd in a ‘Keir Starmer’s A Wanker’ chant. Worth the money alone to have Sky apologise for that all night.

It’s a dilemma. If you change it back, people will moan and say they preferred the newer version. Either direction the PDC takes, some won’t like it. That’s darts fans for you. Give them a free holiday to Barbados and half would complain the sand got in their trainers.

Now you could change it up completely. Have a total of sixteen players in the Premier League, split them into two divisions of equal quality and give them each a week off. Then over the league phase, they all play each other once – the old two points for a win, one for a draw system – and they each get a week break so they’re not dead on their arse from February to May looking more exhausted than Stephen Bunting after an Egg & Spoon race.

Also, they’re less likely to miss a Euro Tour event due to hectic scheduling. This way, for those competing on Thursdays, it’s now only every fortnight. And no swapsies – the group of eight you are in stays precisely as it is. No last-minute fiddling about like a dodgy Sunday League cup draw in the back room of a pub.

Realistically, there are loads of possible other ideas to jazz the Premier League up. Paul Nicholson – about as Australian as a Cockney Pearly King – is big into his WWE and likes the idea of a Royal Rumble type format. Basically, in the back, the players draw straws or something along that notion then enter the fray based upon what number they picked – but in secret. Which admittedly sounds quite fun.

Recently, Gerwyn Price played an exhibition when he arrived at the walk-on – face and head completely covered by a hoodie. Then his music hit, he took the hood down to reveal himself. That would be exciting. The only downside being some knob in the press would spoil the surprise on social media roughly six seconds beforehand because modern journalism now appears to consist largely of ruining things for clicks.

And as far as the betting companies go, they’ve got about two minutes to price things up unless they were in the know a little beforehand. But that opens itself up to all kinds of illegal gambling activity if word got out. Before you know it, Barry from Doncaster is claiming his cousin’s mate’s barber knew the draw order three days early and lumped on.

Ideas, people. Let’s see what you all think about how to give the Premier League a good kick up the arse before we end up seeing the same quarter-final so many times the players start greeting each other with a nod and alright mate, fancy doing this again next Thursday then?