… And breathe! That’s precisely what reigning Premier League Champ, Luke Humphries can now do after ensuring a trip to the O2 in a fortnight with a shot at retaining his crown.
Cool Hand’s nightly victory in Birmingham – his first of the campaign – sealed the deal on an evening where Gerwyn Price’s three-point haul also locked in his spot for London.
It seems unfathomable that, only a few weeks ago, Humphries was languishing in seventh place. But in the past fortnight, he did what all great champions do, got his arse in gear, battled ferociously, showed the world what he can do and picked up half a dozen points before grabbing all five in England’s second city.
Before we go into the ins and outs of what happened at the Arena Birmingham, a quick observation from players when being interviewed backstage by the talented and stunning Polly James.
The word obviously seems to be a favourite amongst players – especially when they are telling us things that are far from the case.
As an example, if someone was to say “obviously, it was my Nan’s 87th birthday last Tuesday and we all went out to a nice restaurant for a meal”. Unless you were a member of staff at that particular establishment or one of those enjoying the culinary experience yourself – it’s not overly obvious.
Anyway, I digress. You’ll find that happens a lot when I write stuff!
Gezzy knew no matter what happened, all he had to do was reach the final and he was London bound. So with that in mind, he got the first half of that equation nailed by enormously damaging Michael van Gerwen’s hopes, defeating the Dutchman 6-4. Mighty Mike then had to sit in the back – or more likely, in a nearby restaurant with pizza and prayers hoping Humphries didn’t win the whole thing. That didn’t pan out well for him.
The Iceman then continued pissing Dutch fans off with a semi-final triumph over Gian van Veen which left the youngster joining his compatriot at the dinner table both praying for the same thing.
Job done for the charismatic Welshman who gave out plenty of roars which sounded like a lion stepping on Lego.
Onto the man wearing the Premier League crown, Humphries – just one of two trophies Luke Littler doesn’t currently own. And I am speaking about purely darts – he is unlikely to win Strictly Come Dancing.
The champ set his stall out earlier, banging the final nail in the coffin of Stephen Bunting who needed two nightly wins and religious intervention to make the O2. There’s no doubting the Scouser is one of the world’s elite but in this match against Luke, he was battered like your Friday night fish supper – losing with the same number of legs registered as a mermaid.
Humphries then faced Littler in yet another Luke Derby. It now feels like they’ve met more times than a pair of blokes stuck on the same tiny desert island. Three legs in and The Nuke bagged them all. It was looking like the reigning champ would have to get the job done in Sheffield. But all of a sudden, he hit the afterburners and like a man possessed, strung six legs together on the bounce to advance into the final. Fair play.
Onto the final. Gezzy had already did what he needed to do. But obviously wanted the extra £10k to presumably buy yet another deep fat fryer for his chippy. Humphries didn’t give a monkeys about take-away cooking equipment – or even the dosh – he wanted that other two points to stamp his passport for the O2. Not that he needs ID to get there.
After about ten minutes, we reached 4-4. Cool Hand then held and with his most important break of throw this season, got the win, passed Go and collected what he needed for a chance to ensure the Premier League trophy stays on his mantelpiece for another year.
So that’s it! The only thing left to decide in Sheffield of any relevance is who finishes third and fourth. The latter will face Littler in their Finals Night semi – the other, Clayton. That’s like choosing if you want to wrestle an alligator with a migraine or a crocodile suffering from toothache.
Josh Rock picked up after a slow start to his campaign but still on a high after winning the Austrian Darts Open last weekend and gifted a green jersey that looks suspiciously like it was from Adolf Hitler’s winter collection.
As for Stephen Bunting, he spent the past few months mainly banging in ton plus averages and wondering why he lost. The Bullet will be fine – class act, top player and this is a very tough school.
Disappointment for the Dutch Van boys. More so for seven-time Premier League champion, Van Gerwen who will now miss his second consecutive O2 trip. That’s almost like someone other than Celtic or Rangers winning the Scottish title. Which ironically could happen this weekend.
In the cold light of day, Gian van Veen will take this on the chin. Perhaps if he didn’t suffer than illness which led to surgery halfway through the campaign – costing him a few weeks of not quite being at his best – who knows. It’s just his debut season and he is destined to go and win loads of silverware.
What the PDC could do is get Humphries and Price together, knock out a quick game of rock, paper, scissors and give all the lads a Thursday night off. Not sure the fans in Sheffield would be massively happy with that – but it won’t be the dramatic end of season run-in they were probably hoping for.
RESULTS
Quarter-Finals
Josh Rock 3-6 Gian van Veen
Gerwyn Price 6-4 Michael van Gerwen
Luke Humphries 6-0 Stephen Bunting
Jonny Clayton 0-6 Luke Littler
Semi-Finals
Gian van Veen 4-6 Gerwyn Price
Luke Humphries 6-3 Luke Littler
Final
Luke Humphries 6-4 Gerwyn Price
2026 PREMIER LEAGUE (current league standings – after week 15)
- Luke Littler – 41 pts (Q)
- Jonny Clayton – 34 pts (Q)
- Gerwyn Price – 24 pts (Q)
- Luke Humphries – 24 pts (Q)
- Michael van Gerwen – 18 pts
- Gian van Veen – 18 pts
- Stephen Bunting – 13 pts
- Josh Rock – 8 pts
