The inaugural Slovak Darts Open represents the newest stop on the European Tour railway, with the PDC express metaphorically laying down fresh tracks in Bratislava.

Slovakia, of course, was part of Czechoslovakia until 1993 before deciding it no longer fancied hanging around and amicably splitting from its neighbours. In the process, it managed to keep the latter half of the country’s name. Seems fair enough.

Anyway, Bratislava sits right on the Austrian border if you came here for geography lessons. If not, let’s get on with the darts.

Given that this is the first ever Euro Tour event to be staged here, there is, by definition, no defending champion. Nor will it be Luke Littler lifting another shiny new trophy this time around. The Nuke, who normally treats new PDC Pro Tour events like a child treats unwanted Christmas presents, isn’t even in attendance. Spain, I believe, is currently more appealing than Slovakia, so clearly he isn’t overly fussed about this one.

Man of the moment Wessel Nijman, who is collecting titles with the sort of frightening efficiency Fred West once applied to gardening, will start as one of the favourites. He’s already struck continental gold this year, capturing the European Darts Trophy in Germany – the nation where the PDC have chosen to stage most of these events. The Dutchman awaits either Justin Hood or Tyler Thorpe, who open proceedings on Friday afternoon. Win, lose or unceremoniously fall off the stage – Hood will be laughing at the end.

With neither Luke present, reigning European Champion Gian van Veen arrives as the highest-ranked player in the field. He won’t be overly delighted with the draw. If Rob Cross dispatches whichever local lad he is paired against, Voltage becomes his opening round opponent. In truth, it represents a rather unpleasant situation for both men. Admittedly, I am effectively waving away the Slovak qualifiers’ chances, but that’s less disrespect and more brutal realism.

Everyone’s favourite Ferret – unless you’re married to one and feel obliged to pick your spouse out of loyalty – Jonny Clayton will take on either Ryan Joyce or Johan Engstrom, while his loud Welsh compatriot Gerwyn Price could find himself locking horns with Cameron Menzies should the Scot first negotiate the obstacle presented by whichever Slovak gentleman emerges from qualifying. Probably a mechanic called Slavic if I am going all stereo-typical on that nation.

Dutch darting destroyer Michael van Gerwen may not be accumulating silverware at quite the same rate the Labour Party have been haemorrhaging support recently, but he remains an exceptionally dangerous commodity. As witnessed at the World Cup, the shiny-headed assassin looked positively imperious.

MVG won’t have things entirely his own way, though. Waiting for him will be either Krzysztof Ratajski – the Polish Eagle, and let’s be honest, calling that creature Brian would sound considerably less intimidating – or Spain’s rejuvenated Cristo Reyes, who appears to have rediscovered his mojo after several years in the wilderness. If Spanish darts players were birds of prey, Reyes would certainly be soaring somewhere near eagle territory.

One tie that catches the eye is a potential Dutch derby between Danny Noppert and Dirk van Duijvenbode. Not aesthetically, I hasten to add – I don’t bowl down that alley myself. But if the Aubergenius can navigate his way past Madars Razma, no straightforward assignment, we could be treated to a particularly appetising all-Dutch affair. With no other Latvians present, Razma is Latvia’s sole hope this weekend. Which is generally the situation anyway.

Finally, we come to Nathan Aspinall, who awaits the winner of Daryl Gurney against Jim Long. Personally, I’d fancy Superchin in that one to get past the Canadian, setting up a clash between two former major champions. One possessing a chin roughly the size of several European microstates combined, the other occasionally giving off the impression that he’d rather be anywhere else than throwing darts. Still, winning cures many ailments, and if Aspinall lifts the trophy on Sunday evening, his enthusiasm may suddenly return.

Much may depend on how badly Nathan is still suffering from his stag party in Ibiza. The Stockport star skipped Wigan and, to be fair, if I were nursing the mother of all hangovers, the Robin Park Leisure Centre wouldn’t exactly be top of my list of dream destinations either. Head banging like a punk rock concert or not.

The Slovak Darts Open looks set to be an absolute cracker. Who will win? Well, if I genuinely knew the answer to that, I’d probably be somewhere resembling Luke Littler’s current surroundings rather than sitting in a front room in Warrington typing this. But if forced to stick my neck out, I’ll go with Chris Dobey. I reckon he’s due one of these bad boys. And if I keep predicting him often enough, eventually probability itself will throw me a bone.

Much may depend on how badly Nathan is still suffering from his stag party in Ibiza. The Stockport star skipped Wigan and, to be fair, if I were nursing the mother of all hangovers, the Robin Park Leisure Centre wouldn’t exactly be top of my list of dream destinations either. Head banging like a punk rock concert or not.

The Slovak Darts Open looks set to be an absolute cracker. Who will win? Well, if I genuinely knew the answer to that, I’d probably be somewhere resembling Luke Littler’s current surroundings rather than sitting in a front room in Warrington typing this. But if forced to stick my neck out, I’ll go with Chris Dobey. I reckon he’s due one of these bad boys. And if I keep predicting him often enough, eventually probability itself will throw me a bone.

And to finish off off, below is the full draw and schedule for the opening two rounds:

ROUND ONE
Friday (Afternoon Session)
Justin Hood v Benjamin Pratnemer
Karel Sedlacek v Tyler Thorpe
Andrew Gilding v Mervyn King
Kevin Doets v Owen Bates
Niels Zonneveld v Host Nation Qualifier 4
William O’Connor v Jeffrey De Graaf
Ryan Joyce v Johan Engstrom
Dave Chisnall v Host Nation Qualifier 3

Friday (Evening Session)
Dirk van Duijvenbode v Madars Razma
Kim Huybrechts v Keane Barry
Rob Cross v Host Nation Qualifier 2
Daryl Gurney v Jim Long
Niko Springer v Tom Sykes
Cameron Menzies v Host Nation Qualifier 1
Joe Cullen v Peter Kelemen
Krzysztof Ratajski v Cristo Reyes

ROUND TWO
Saturday (Afternoon Session)
Mike De Decker v O’Connor/De Graaf
Damon Heta v Doets/Bates
Wessel Nijman v Hood/Pratnemer
Danny Noppert v Van Duijvenbode/Razma
Jermaine Wattimena v Chisnall/HNQ3
Chris Dobey v Sedlacek/Thorpe
Ryan Searle v Huybrechts/Barry
Luke Woodhouse v Gilding/King

Saturday (Evening Session)
Nathan Aspinall v Gurney/Long
Martin Schindler v Springer/Sykes
Gerwyn Price v Menzies/HNQ1
Gian van Veen v Cross/HNQ2
Michael van Gerwen v Ratajski/Reyes
Jonny Clayton v Joyce/Engstrom
Stephen Bunting v Zonneveld/HNQ4
Ross Smith v Cullen/Kelemen