There are darts players who live the glamorous lifestyle. Private jets. Designer watches. Champagne breakfasts. Then there’s Chris Dobey. A bloke whose idea of luxury appears to be a packet of Super Noodles and an afternoon on the PlayStation.
Let’s face it, Dobes is far more Byker Grove than Beverly Hills.
The reason I mentioned that 20p-a-packet junk is because that was what Chris was gobbling his way through when I rang him. And despite it being up there with a Pot Noodle as the least nutritious food known to mankind, it’s nonetheless amusing when heard in a thick Geordie accent.
Oddly, despite Hollywood being an elite darts player, I decided we’d skip darts altogether for the first half of this interview. That threw him. Naturally, knowing the Geordie is an avid Newcastle United fan and that their manager, Eddie Howe, had recently quit, it seemed a good place to start.
So let’s start there. Right mate, your boss has gone. Discuss!
“I was literally at home when I heard the news. Looked at my phone in the morning and thought… wow… what the hell.”
Pretty much the reaction of every Newcastle supporter. Except I was a little surprised to hear Chris was awake in the morning.
“It was ridiculous.”, he continued without really going much into why.
One thing he is certain about is Eddie Howe’s legacy.
“What he did for the club… no one will forget. I am sure he asked at the end of last season to leave, once they’d found a replacement.”
Well, he won something, albeit a Mickey Mouse cup – the Haribo Cup. And the winner was scored by a striker they now hate more than Sunderland. But even still.
Anyway, they have a new gaffer now. A 12-year-old German called Matthias Jaissle. Happy?
“I’d have gone for someone like Diego Simeone personally. Pay the money. But I’m excited with who they got. A young manager, so hopefully he can do a good job.”
Somewhere in Argentina, Diego Simeone is probably revered. Not on UK shores though. He dances down the touchline like Louis Spence on crack and is generally as disliked as the annoying jumping TV ‘celebrity’.
DOBES ON HOME LIFE
Away from the lights… away from the crowds… away from smashing opponents on a dartboard, Chris Dobey’s life is surprisingly normal.
“I live in Bedlington with my partner our children.
When not at work?
“Spend time with the family and often go to watch the football.”
Simple. No celebrity lifestyle. No endless sponsorship events. No pretending to enjoy golf. Football remains the big obsession, although one member of the household still isn’t convinced.
As everyone knows, Dobey is a huge Magpies fan – and by that I mean the nickname of his football team. He doesn’t have posters of William O’Connor on his bedroom wall or go around talking to little black-and-white birds. More often than not, you’ll find Chris at their footballing mecca – St James’ Park.
“I’ve not took my youngest son yet. Oh hang on, yes I took him to one game.”
Memorable experience then, mate! But his eldest has been to a few and apparently he’s not overly arsed.
“Nah. He’s not that interested. Been to quite a few but not massively into it.”
Kids that age tend to be obsessed with games consoles anyway, something Chris partakes in himself.
“I am often on Football Manager on the PlayStation. Don’t really play any other sports, just that really.”
Close. Perhaps Dobey should have gone for the job. When you can take Pub Rovers from the twentieth tier of English football to European champions within a month, there’s credentials right there for you.
DOBES ON ‘THAT’ STAG WEEKEND
It was an interesting summer for Dobes. With close mate Nathan Aspinall getting hitched, what seemed like half the English contingency of the PDC headed along on his stag do, with Ibiza being the destination.
“That was Nathan’s idea. There were a few options, including Portugal. I’d never been to Ibiza before. Probably shouldn’t have done it in the youngster days.”
Translation… if I’d gone ten years earlier, there would probably be more mini Dobey’s running around either the Spanish island or Newcastle.
“On one of the nights, I went to see Calvin Harris. Then ended up in a karaoke bar.”
Now this sounds fun. Thanks to social media, I already knew both pieces of information. But what Facebook omitted was which songs the lads sang.
“I did quite a few actually. Sex On Fire was one of them.”
A perfectly respectable choice, yet almost certainly murdered. And the rest?
“Ross [Smith] sang Parklife. Joe [Cullen] was Champagne Supernova and Andy Boulton did My Way by Frank Sinatra.”
Old song for the old man of the group. And as for Smudger with Parklife, he probably channelled his inner Phil Daniels on that one. Then we came to Nathan’s choice. Surely it wasn’t the obvious one?
“Yeah, he sang Mr Brightside.”
If you happened to be in Hyde Park a few weeks back, or saw the videos, you will have discovered two things. Firstly, Nathan can’t sing for shit. And secondly, despite walking out to that Killers anthem, he doesn’t actually know the words.
I guess a karaoke bar is the perfect place to redeem half of that issue at least. The lyrics are on the screen. But that said, after hearing what The Asp drank that night, I’m surprised he could even see a small TV with words on it.
DOBES ON HIS EURO TOUR HOODOO
There aren’t many labels Chris Dobey would happily wear. One of them certainly isn’t “the best player never to win a Euro Tour.” Unfortunately, it’s becoming one that’s following him around. And it’s not because he’s played badly. Quite the opposite.
“Best player not to win one? I’m definitely up there. I’ve played well, just walked into lads who were doing pretty much the same.”
Sounds like Stephen Bunting every week on Premier League duty. The Bullet would knock in something like a 3000 average and pin a couple of nine-darters before walking off the stage wondering how the hell he lost.
“I’ll get one eventually.”
That’s the spirit, mate. And I am absolutely certain you will. Far too good not to.
DOBES ON THE MOVE TO MODUS
There was a big shift in management camps for Dobey recently. After a good few highly successful years with ZXF, when owner Martin Foulds moved to pastures new, MODUS snapped up Dobey and pal Aspinall too. Littler, meanwhile, went to Target and subsequently makes as much as Elon Musk.
“My first tournament with MODUS was The Masters in January. I am still the same player, but I am very happy and getting more exhibitions and a few different sponsors.”
To be honest, if a pantomime cow had started managing Chris, he probably wouldn’t have noticed until its head fell off, such is the Geordie’s laid-back, carefree approach to life. A good management team is like a top-class referee – you barely notice they’re there. Things just tick along like clockwork in the background.
Tell Chris where he has to be and when – essentially, job’s a good ‘un. Some players need their drinks served to them and the odd foot massage. Not Dobey. He’s as easy to look after as a goldfish. Even feeds himself too – albeit with Super Noodles.
DOBES ON HIS SEASON SO FAR
Onto his season to date now. And it was at this point I was really struggling with the accent – even without a mouthful of Super Noodles. I asked Glen Durrant to translate (Middlesbrough being close enough to get by), but he was asking for £100 per hour. So I called Alan Shearer instead and decided to see how that panned out. Rather well, as it happened.
Rate your year so far, mate.
“Very happy. I’ve played some good darts… putting myself in contention… winning most boards. Playing well. I’m not at my best… but definitely consistent.”
Alan? [a minute elapsed]. Ta pal.
That’s the key word. Consistency. It’s fine being brilliant sometimes, but to do what Chris has done in the game, you need that to be often.
“My bad game is mid-90s… that’s where you want your bad game.”
Well, I wish my bad game was that. I consider it good if I don’t blind someone or trip over en route to retrieve my darts. But a 75% win ratio on the floor tells you all you need to know about the Geordie’s consistency.
“I’m pretty happy with the way things are going.”
Yes, you are, aren’t you, mate? I can sense that.
DOBES ON SHIRT AND EQUIPMENT
Changing a darts shirt shouldn’t be controversial. Or at least apparently so. Chris has always been associated with black and white, for obvious reasons. So when the new Target shirt arrived… people noticed.
Turns out he had plenty of say-so in its design.
“Everyone gets an input. Wanted to keep it the Newcastle United colours but decided to ditch St James’ Park and the club crest and instead go for a more Northumberland feel.”
That’s basically to encourage non-supporters of the Magpies to buy it. As much as darts fans may love Chris Dobey – and why not, he’s one of the most popular players on the planet – not everyone loves Newcastle United.
That said, if he was a Man U fan, no one outside of London would have bought it.
“I saw the pictures of the new shirt before production. Then I went to try it on – you know, for fitting purposes.”
Oh, that’s why you try clothes on, mate? To see if they fit properly. Great new concept.
Darts-wise, Dobes has been chucking his Target Generation I small tungsten missiles for quite a while now. He’s looking to move on soon.
“I’m trying to sort a Gen Two. I’ve been given a few prototypes and just trying them out to see which one is perfect.”
What changes? Barrel length, weight, point, flight? Nope, something far simpler, it seems.
“Grip… extra grip at the back where I hold the dart.”
Tiny adjustments. Massive difference. It’s amazing, really. The rest of us blame the board. Professionals redesign tungsten.
DOBES ON HIS WALK-ON TUNE
Changing your walk-on song is risky. It’s like changing your local pub. Some people love it. Others spend the next five years telling you the old one was better. Chris decided it was time.
I’ve made no secret of the fact that I hate Hey Jude. This has nothing to do with any disdain for The Beatles. More that I think a darts walk-on song should be up-tempo. This isn’t. Still, it’s not as bad as Mike De Decker’s choice of Three Little Birds, which, quite frankly, the opening credits to Rainbow would have been a better option for.
So mate, what’s the story behind this one?
“I just wanted something to change. There was nowt wrong with the Ant & Dec one [Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble]. I just thought it was time for a change.”
Sacrilegious. Ant & Dec are heroes in Newcastle. One more BAFTA away from statues. Yes, it’s a song a four-year-old could write, but still… it’s ANT & DEC!
“I wanted something that’s played at St James’ Park.”
Of course he did. The answer? Hey Jude. Specifically…
“Na na na (and a few more na’s), then … Geordies.”
If you’ve ever been inside St James’ Park, you’ll know exactly why. Apparently, the seed was planted by someone else.
“Phil Brzezinski suggested it.”
For those unaware, Phil is the PDC Europe MC. Think of Lewis Jones, but with a less shiny head and, at times, a questionable moustache.
“When he suggested it, I though that’s a bit of me.”
The rest is history.
DOBES ON A PREMIER LEAGUE RETURN
And finally… the big question. Back inside the world’s top eight. Back playing consistently. Back knocking on the Premier League door. Should he be recalled?
“This year, I didn’t deserve it. Hadn’t done enough. For next season, form-wise, I’m in with a chance but probably need a good run at the World’s, then maybe I will be in contention.”
There you have it. A good run at the Worlds – a tide that can raise all ships.
Let’s hope Chris Dobey gets back into the Premier League – more for his sake than mine. But if you do, mate, please go with my walk-on suggestion. If not, I’m going to sell it to Joe Hunt. He doesn’t know that yet, though!
Thank you so much to Chris. As one of my closest friends on the circuit, it was a privilege. Yeah, he set me up with a good practical joke in Gibraltar, but I still love the little Geordie geezer.
All the best, buddy.
