Claiming the WDF World Championship crown doesn’t automatically translate into success in the PDC – unless your name happens to be Beau Greaves, whose darting ability is about as reliable as a politician’s ability to accidentally tell the truth.
Since the WDF took over from the BDO – effectively resurrecting an ashen phoenix that the latter organisation had first soaked in petrol, set alight and then repeatedly stamped on for good measure – there have been four male Lakeside champions.
Three have successfully navigated the annual psychological endurance test known as PDC Q School to secure a Tour Card. The fourth has shown roughly the same enthusiasm for attending that test centre as a turkey has for Christmas.
So, Beau aside – and she remains the only genuine success story of the modern WDF generation so far – let’s have a look at the other four men who conquered Lakeside but have yet to start swimming comfortably in the considerably shark-infested waters of the PDC.
JIMMY VAN SCHIE
There are giraffes wandering around safari parks that Jimmy Van Schie refers to as “little fellas.”
At 9ft 10in tall – or at least appearing that way whenever a camera points in his direction – the Dutchman makes WWE’s Undertaker look like a black-cloaked Oompa Loompa. Height isn’t necessarily an advantage at the oche, but it does provide tremendous entertainment whenever he’s standing next to Justin Hood. Watching the pair together is like giving the Driscoll Brothers from Only Fools and Horses a set of darts and having a game.
His transition into the PDC began at the start of the current campaign and, to his credit, he’s been a regular fixture on the Players Championship circuit. His best result so far is a run to the last 16 and this weekend’s Baltic Sea Darts Open represents his maiden Euro Tour appearance of the season.
The raw talent is obvious. Jimmy is every bit as good as he is tall, which is unfortunate for everybody else because he’s got plenty of both. At the moment he’s merely dipping his toe into PDC waters. Admittedly, given his height, that toe is probably already somewhere near the ocean floor, but there remains a long way to go before he’s fully immersed.
SHANE McGUIRK
Like Jimmy, the Irishman also has a solitary last 16 appearance to boast about and that came all the way back at Players Championship One in Hildesheim. Since then, the results have been somewhat quieter.
Whether The Arrow simply enjoys playing in giant disused German aircraft hangars in the middle of nowhere is anybody’s guess. Perhaps he just likes the smell of industrial heating systems and disappointment.
McGuirk has made one Euro Tour appearance this year but wasn’t there long enough to leave much of a lasting impression. He exited in round one, meaning he probably spent more time waiting for his luggage at baggage reclaim than he did actually throwing darts on stage.
Still, he’s talented enough to improve. Plenty of players have started slowly before finding their feet. Some just prefer taking the scenic route. Others appear to be travelling via horse and cart.
ANDY BAETENS
This is a player I rate extremely highly. As a Belgian, he’s also probably the only one of the lot who doesn’t seem permanently entangled in whatever soap-opera bollocks appears to consume large chunks of Flemish arrow-smiths. Some countries produce great players. Belgium appears to do precisely that with enough drama to keep Netflix going until 2047.
Baetens has previously held a Tour Card but unfortunately wasn’t able to retain it. That said, I would be very surprised if Andy isn’t back on the main circuit sooner rather than later. The talent is undeniable, and the temperament appears rock solid. If nothing else, the PDC could probably use him as a diplomatic envoy whenever another round of Belgian darts civil war inevitably breaks out on the circuit.
NEIL DUFF
Then there’s Neil Duff. A man capable of getting arrested for assaulting himself in a phone box. The fiery Northern Irishman has never bothered giving Q School a crack and appears to view the prospect with roughly the same enthusiasm as a condemned prisoner being invited to browse rope catalogues.
Maybe he’s simply content where he is. Maybe he enjoys sleeping peacefully at night without recurring nightmares of heading back to his Milton Keynes hotel at 2pm each day. Or perhaps deep down he looks at the PDC field the same way a turkey would look at Bernard Matthews.
You need relentless consistency to survive on the Tour. The standard is savage. One poor session and you’re heading home quicker than a politician’s promise after election day. Duff has instead remained in WDF waters where he’s a very big fish indeed. The trouble is that every now and then somebody points towards the ocean and asks whether he’d fancy a swim. At which point Neil freezes quicker than he can piss someone off on Facebook.
His body language immediately changes into that of a man who’s just been informed there’s a crocodile in the bath, a tax inspector in the kitchen and his mother-in-law arriving for a fortnight’s stay. And even if he did secure a Tour Card, it’s fair to wonder how he’d enjoy some of the more boisterous PDC crowds. This is, after all, a man who once told the Lakeside audience to quieten down. Lakeside! Compared to PDC events, it’s the darting equivalent of a library. The crowd there consists largely of retired couples, polite applause, knitting and enough Werther’s Originals to fill a small warehouse.
If that atmosphere occasionally tested his patience, then a packed German arena containing 3,500 adults dressed as bananas, nuns and inflatable dinosaurs might send his blood pressure higher than Jimmy van Schie’s baseball cap. One suspects Duff would spend his PDC walk-on looking less like a professional darts player and more like a substitute teacher who’s accidentally entered the wrong classroom.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying where you’re comfortable. Ambition comes in many forms.
Some people climb Everest. Others look at Everest and sensibly decide they’d rather stay at home with a cup of tea and decide instead to race pensioners around the block. In fact, if Neil ever packed darts in altogether, there may well be a place waiting for him in Liverpool’s midfield. Safety first. No risks. Nice simple sideways passes. Keep possession. Everybody home by half past five. It would suit him perfectly.
But back to Beau. I doff my cap. While everyone else is trying to navigate the transition, she’s making the whole thing look about as complicated as boiling a kettle. The frightening part isn’t that she’s succeeding.
It’s that she often appears mildly inconvenienced by how easy she’s making it look.
