Professional darts has always been largely about those blessed with exceptional talent and huge characters. That has never changed and, from what many perceive to be the Golden Era of the game, Kevin Painter certainly fits into that category.
Nicknamed ‘The Artist’ for arguably similar reasons you could make a case for Surrey player Lee Cocks going by the moniker of ‘Porn Star’, the Essex-born maverick spent many years plying his trade on both the BDO and PDC circuits, enjoying considerable success.
But as decorated as Kev is, anyone can Google him and have a gander at Wikipedia to see his honours. I’ll make it easier. From a lengthy and successful career, two matches define the 58-year-old.
Firstly, Painter’s only televised PDC major triumph, the 2011 Players Championship Finals in Doncaster, of all places. I know! Secondly, the World Championship final where Kevin lost a thrilling last-set decider to some bloke called Phil Taylor. Whatever happened to him?
There was a point where The Artist was on the box more often than Rylan Clark. A man whose frequent appearances on our screens are a great deterrent for anyone even slightly tempted to purchase a TV licence. In other words, he is a condom’s answer to birth control.
Sorry, I got totally side-tracked there! Back to Mr Painter. Apologies, mate!
Recently, I caught up with ‘The Artist’—not literally, neither of us can run. It would’ve been a shit race. I decided to probe him a little, although not in the way an alien would. Just a few simple questions looking back over the good, the bad and the occasionally downright infuriating moments from a career that spanned the best part of three decades.
I thought I’d settle him in with a comfy one first and asked Kevin for a spot of career reflection. Overall, how would he rate it?
“Looking back on my career, I’d say it was pretty successful. I turned pro in 1995, played in the BDO and won several Opens before moving to the PDC in 2000. I think it would’ve been a bit of an injustice had I not won a TV major, so I’m glad I did.
“A lot of great players won’t have that pleasure. I was there or thereabouts for many years and I’m sure I’d have won plenty more if it wasn’t for a certain Mr Taylor, but a lot of players could say the same.”
It’s hard to argue. Phil Taylor shattered more dreams than an alarm clock on a Monday morning. For many players, it must have felt like they’d finally conquered Mount Everest, only to discover The Power had bought the mountain, obtained planning permission, built a lovely little café and was offering a pot of tea and a Fondant Fancy to anyone who walked through the door.
Next, I asked Painter who his closest mates on the circuit were.
“I had lots of pals on the circuit. It’d be unfair to single anyone out.”
A wonderfully diplomatic answer. Just the darts equivalent of Switzerland. In hindsight, I probably should’ve asked who, if anyone, was a complete knobhead. Oh well.
One thing fans will always associate with Kevin is the whole finger-licking routine. What’s that all about, mate?
“Haha, plenty of players lick their fingers before throwing – Gezzy Price, Andy Hamilton and many more. It’s about getting grip initially, then it turns into a natural habit.”
Every sport has its odd little rituals. Tennis players bounce the ball twenty-seven times before serving. Golfers spend longer reading a putt than most people spend choosing a mortgage. Painter, when on-stage, permanently looked like he’d just demolished a family bucket from KFC and forgotten to ask for the serviettes.
Famously, and as mentioned before, The Artist comes from that celebrated Golden Era of darts. So, from then until now, what’s changed the most?
“Nowadays there’s a lot more money in the game, stricter behaviour rules etc. and a lot more youngsters playing the game. When I started around 1984 there were hardly any young players, no academies etc. It’s taken a lot more seriously I’d say, with players trying to keep fitter and healthier… not all of them though!”
Some traditions simply refuse to die.
Money is obviously a huge factor for players these days. Head to a Players Championship, lose in the first round and you receive diddly squat. I asked the Billericay-born legend whether he thought that was fair.
“Difficult question really. We all know Barry Hearn’s thoughts – don’t pay losers etc. Maybe a couple of hundred pounds for expenses wouldn’t hurt.”
Quite right. And no, I suppose it wouldn’t. Steve West wanted the PDPA to fork out for most of the losers’ prize money! Can’t see that happening.
There was one suggestion Kevin did make regarding the PDC.
“I think it’s all going pretty well, isn’t it? Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken, as they say. If anything, it’s maybe the Premier League format that’s always debated, as seeing the same players all the time bores people, but there’s no easy fix with that.”
It’s the debate that simply refuses to go away. Every year someone complains. Every year someone else defends it. Every year social media behaves as though civilisation itself depends on who finishes fourth in the league table.
Then Thursday night arrives… and everyone watches it anyway. Funny how that works hey?
Onto the serious stuff for a moment. Most darts fans will know Painter recently suffered from the dreaded dartitis. As if being an Ipswich Town fan wasn’t torment enough, he had this to contend with as well. Thankfully, I was pleased to hear things aren’t quite as bad now.
“It’s been over two years now with dartitis. Very frustrating. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was at the beginning, but enough to affect my performance a fair bit. But I won’t let it beat me – that’s not in my DNA!”
There are very few opponents more ruthless than dartitis. You can’t intimidate it. You can’t outscore it. You can’t blame your flights.
It simply arrives, ignores your CV completely and reminds you that sport can sometimes be brutally unfair. Yet Painter’s determination shines through.
One line in particular stuck with me: “I won’t let it beat me.”. That probably explains why he enjoyed the career he did.
So, having suffered from it himself, what advice would he give to players battling dartitis?
“It’s easy to say just carry on etc., but if you have it, it’s not that easy as the frustration is unbearable at times. I’ve seen a therapist, Chris O’Connor from Eccleston Park Therapy, and he helped me a lot. Many people suggest different things. The best advice would be to see Chris and try things. Something may work.”
It’s an honest answer from someone who’s lived it. Too often, people who’ve never experienced dartitis offer miracle cures that sound about as scientific as rubbing a random lamp and hoping a genie pops out to cure what ails you.
Painter’s advice is refreshingly practical. Get help. Keep trying. Don’t suffer in silence.
My next question was intended to buy me a few minutes to make a brew while Kevin deliberated over the answer. That didn’t quite pan out. I hadn’t even managed to put the teabag in the cup.
My question was: which current player is the next first-time televised major winner?
“Wessel Nijman.”
No hesitation. No long explanation. No brew for me just yet.
Now, this is a question I’ve been asking a few players recently. Not because I have the imagination of a frog picking out a suit for his prom. No. It’s because I want to gauge opinion from right across the board.
So here goes. Kev… when Challenge Tour players are called up to the ProTour during European Tour qualifying weekends, should they also be allowed to play those qualifiers?
“Yes, I can’t see why not.”
Seeing as that went down so well, and Kevin really treated me to an in-depth response, I decided to try another opinion-based poser.
Would you like to see European Tour events held in Wales, Scotland and Ireland?
“Yes, one in each of those countries would be fair.”
Hard to disagree. Unless you’re German and own a wardrobe that resembles the darts aisle of a fancy-dress shop, that’s probably going to be your answer too.
And on that note, I started to wrap things up. Not because I’d run out of things to ask, but because, subconsciously, after chatting with Kevin for so long, I’d started licking my fingers. Not ideal when you’re trying to type on a laptop.
Besides, truth be told, we could’ve spoken about darts for hours. Or at least until Painter eventually said, “Right, I’m bored now, Paul… piss off.”
Given his delightfully direct and refreshingly direct and blunt approach to life – a welcoming trait in someone – I honestly wouldn’t have minded.
The Artist is currently in action this week down in Portsmouth on MODUS Live Lounge on Super Series duty. Wishing him all the very best for that and everything that follows.
Cheers Kev… it’s been emotional.
