Pride of Scotland, Cameron Menzies punched his ticket into round two with a knockout win over 2024 World Matchplay champion, Luke Humphries.
With seemingly half of Scotland opting to pick Blackpool as their annual summer vacation spot – they had their moment in the Sun as their man hit Cool Hand with a right-hand upper-cut, and out of the tournament.
Somewhere along the promenade there were probably grown men hugging complete strangers, pensioners dancing like they’d won the lottery and at least one kilt being worn in a manner that would horrify local authorities.
Yes, I used boxing references in my opening salvo, but don’t worry – I know Cammie and be assured when I send him this, he will smirk. In fact right now, I could probably sleep with his girlfriend and steal his entire stock of Irn Bru and he wouldn’t care, such is his current state of euphoria.
If anything, he’d probably help me carry the crates to the car before wandering off humming Flower of Scotland with the expression of a man who has accidentally discovered the secret to eternal happiness.
After a fairly even start, Menzies put his foot down and stormed into an 8-3 lead. Against someone with Humphries’ class, it was still not a formality. Playing that bloke with a lead is a bit like discovering a wasp in your bedroom. You know things look under control, but there’s always the possibility everything descends into panic and screaming within the next thirty seconds.
But the Scot held firm and finished it off a la Colin Lloyd famously claiming the crown – or in Cammie’s care, a precious victory – with a superb Big Fish checkout. The crowd erupted accordingly. Somewhere a beer was launched skyward, a tray of chips met an untimely death and a Blackpool seagull briefly considered applying for Scottish citizenship.
Almost twelve months on to the day, Cameron was seen in tears after a dismal display saw him spanked by Danny Noppert on his debut appearance. In contrast, what a difference a year makes. Twelve months ago he looked like a man who had accidentally reversed over his own dog. This year he looked like a bloke who had just found out every scratch-card in his wallet was a winner and a £500 Off-Licence voucher.
No tables were harmed in the making of this victory.
The man who is merely one vowel away from spelling out an African country will now face Ross Smith after he put in a pristine performance to overcome a Kevin Doets who is still wondering how he lost this one. There are supermarket workers who finish a twelve-hour shift less bewildered than the Dutchman looked walking off that stage.
Stats are simply a guide, and this was further emphasised by Hawkeye’s magnificent 104 plus change average and some clinical finishing. Still, it’s legs that mattered and the harsh reality is Smudger reached ten of them before Kevin did. Statistics in darts can sometimes be like online dating profiles. They tell you plenty of encouraging things until reality arrives and smacks you squarely across the face.
I guess it never helps when you’re staring down the barrel of a 5-0 deficit after the first mini-session. That was a fate that faced the Almere chap after the opening break. Taking on a three-time PDC Pro Tour title winner this season, it’s never going to be an easy ask. But when your opponent is halfway to the winning post and you’re still putting on your trainers, makes that job so much harder. At that stage Ross Smith was practically waiting at the finish line with a flask and a sandwich.
Doets did fight back and matched the Kent-born chucker in the second half. Yet the real damage was already done. Try as you may, if you drive your car with a couple of flat tyres, eventually it’s not going to play ball and cry out for the RAC. You can keep turning the radio up and pretending everything is fine, but deep down you know disaster is only a roundabout away.
Welsh shouting machine, Gerwyn Price did however manage to recover from a slow start, recovering from a 4-0 disadvantage to eventually overcome Martin Schindler in extra time. Great start by The Wall who must have wondered if the Iceman had either melted or been replaced by one of his chip-shop customers. For a while Price looked about as threatening as a sleeping Labrador stretched out in front of a fireplace.
But in true Gezzy style, he found a way back and shows that it’s not just chasing down sheep he’s becoming accustomed to, but German darts players too. As good as Schindi is, that’s five appearances at the Winter Gardens now and zero wins. If only his national football team exited that early in major tournaments, we as England fans wouldn’t have to cling on in desperation to our 1966 triumph like a pensioner refusing to throw away a winning bingo ticket.
Never in the history of darts has a chippy owner from Markham had such success on the oche. It is one of those wonderfully ridiculous sporting facts that sounds completely made up until you remember darts has always specialised in wonderfully ridiculous sporting facts. Now he must face arguably the most decorated electrician from Kent in round two after Rob Cross cruised past Danny Noppert.
According to the 2019 Matchplay winner, a few months ago he hadn’t even looked at the ‘Race to Blackpool’. After a heart to heart with manager Rab Bain, thought he’d better. Then when he noticed he was well off the pace, decided to get his arse into gear.
That he did, picking up a Players Championship title and a cheeky run to the final of the Slovak Darts Open – then just like that, he was comfortably above the cut-off. Almost annoying really! I wish I was able to go from hitting regular 26’s to pinging in maximums just because I thought it would be a good idea to start playing better!
However, that’s what champions do. They are the proverbial cream which not only rises to the top, but goes along to Wimbledon and gets the contract for the official brand posh buggers pour all over their strawberries for £20 a punnet. They make difficult things look insultingly easy and leave the rest of us wondering whether we’ve accidentally been participating in an entirely different sport.
Just like his compatriot, Kevin Doets, The Freeze was also staring down the barrel of a 5-0 first interval – or if you’re John Part, intermission – deficit. Rarely have players overturned that kind of score and the two Dutchmen can unfortunately add their names to that list. By that point both were effectively trying to climb Everest wearing flip-flops and carrying a washing machine.
That match signalled the end of round one. Sixteen now desperately trying to see if their hotel can offer a refund on their booking and mithering their managers to change their travel plans. Somewhere in Blackpool there are receptionists answering phones from increasingly hopeful darts players asking whether “non-refundable” is perhaps more of a guideline than an actual policy.
Just buy a campervan is my advice. Then you don’t have to worry about any of that. Or better still, try to win. It seems an obvious strategy, but based on the evidence of round one, exactly half the field still managed to get it wrong.
