What an honour and a privilege it was recently to be a guest on the DSL Live Show in Australia.
There was even a cheeky bit of commentary thrown in, leading to highly experienced three-time Lakeside Champion Glen Durrant texting to say his “job was safe!” Yeah, I know you won the Premier League too, mate. So does everyone you meet within a few seconds when you’re out shopping.
Hosted by Ben Hunter and Declan Bailey, no greater Aussie stereotype could have existed. Ben sports a beard the size of France and, as for Declan, well, that is quite a mullet. They couldn’t have looked more Australian if you’d stuck a can of Fosters in each hand and had them both playing a didgeridoo.
Anyway, any concerns that it was going to be overly professional were quickly extinguished when Ben proudly announced he was “off for a piss.” Cheers, mate. “Back in five” would have sufficed.
A bit of background. Mr Hunter is to Australian darts what the British Library is to encyclopaedias. As for Declan Bailey, he is one of the nation’s leading tungsten lights. I think I clocked it at just under two minutes before he mentioned beating Raymond Smith.
I was on for the DSL Silver Sands Friday Night Darts, hosted by the venue of the same name in Perth, Western Australia. In all, there were 78 players competing, beginning with a round-robin phase before moving into the knockout stages.
Scanning around the impressive room appearing on my screen, it seemed not only were Ben and Declan in the commentary box, but there were sightings of the pair everywhere I looked.
All in all, I reckon I counted a couple of dozen darts shirts featuring Ben Hunter’s face. At first, it looked like they were all part of a motorcycle club and his face was a typical impression of what the leader probably resembled. But no. It was Ben, alright.
Then, perhaps in honour of Declan, I’m not sure, there were mullets galore. Everywhere the camera panned, there were folk of all ages sporting the look. I didn’t count them because it would have taken too long, but I did notice some had gone for the full Hunter-Bailey combo of shirt and long hair. Now that’s dedication.
The age range of the field stretched from teenagers right up to, let’s be kind and say, the more senior players. One gentleman wore a baseball cap, giving off the whole “I don’t give a toss, mate, it’s wear what you want on Fridays” vibe. Hats off, sir. No pun intended.
In between games, the three of us had a good natter. I discovered that the word “peg” means a checkout and also discovered that my commentary skills do not yet quite match those of my writing.
Standard-wise, there was another huge spread. There were a few I would fancy my chances against, plus a good number who would kick my arse even if I threw six darts to their three. I have to say, though, I was impressed.
Young Kayden Dunster stood out. Mullet and all, the kid looked every bit the Home and Away extra from when I was his age. Then there was Matt Dorotich, the man who eventually took him out, who is a very handy player. Another young chucker, Andre Yates, also caught the eye.
Far too many players to mention. But in the end, the event was won by who I felt was the most deserving champion, Blake Hatchett, who lived up to his name by chopping through the field one by one like some mad Aussie bloke in the outback on a mission to destroy a rainforest.
The local lad has apparently won about three thousand of these Friday nights, which, if I wasn’t exaggerating, would make him older than Ayers Rock.
Part of the organising team, Brent Kenney (Tournament Director) and Charlette Bennell took it in turns to speak into the spectacularly large orange-headed microphone, which resembled an Oompa Loompa with a lolly stick shoved up its arse.
After an evening when Darts Connect decided to go down and those two had to revert back to a system from before the electronic age—which they handled extremely well—the winners were finally announced.
Earlier, someone had won the meat raffle, which I assumed consisted of an entire cow carefully sectioned and placed on a silver platter. Then Blake stepped forward to collect his winnings, which at this stage probably felt more like weekly wages.
Well done to everyone involved. It is a truly great setup and something fabulous for the local community. I look forward to being back on the show again.
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