Everyone remember Aussie arrow-smith Corey Cadby?

Sure you do. The ultra-talented hot-shot from Down Under who burst onto the scene looking like some kind of gothic lesbian. The Tasmanian Devil who, in 2016, fired his way to seven titles during his debut season on the DPA Tour, earning a place in the subsequent World Championship.

If you had amazingly forgotten, I’m sure you now recall. The man nicknamed The King was, ironically, the man who would be king, with many tipping Cadby for greatness. Yet talent alone – of which he had in abundance – was never going to be enough, as his demons were a bigger enemy than anyone he ever faced on the oche.

In an explosive ‘tell all’ interview with Corey, I asked what he’d been up to since winning a Tour Card at the 2023 Q-School in Germany, playing sublime stuff, then never quite making it to the circuit.

So mate, how’s life?

“Yeah, it’s good thanks. I was released from jail in January this year. Moved back to Davenport [in the state of Tasmania] and now live with my wife and daughter.”

That’s right. For those living under a rock, Cadby was banged up. Want to know exactly why? Let’s ask him. And it all starts shortly after his success at Kalkar, and what prevented him from relocating to the UK to resume his professional darting career:

“I was banged up for eight months for going into a Hungry Jacks diner without a mask and asking for the safe.”

Nothing about that was very wise. Least of all the lack of disguise bit. However, he tries to explain why:

“I was just high on coke [cocaine as oppose to Pepsi Max] and don’t exactly know why I did it.”

I’m guessing it was down to the fact you were higher than Cor Dekker’s ceiling mate! Most people go into that kind of restaurant politely requesting a burger. Presumably, when Corey did, and they asked if wanted anything with that, he requested all the money in the safe. Surely, in hindsight, fries or a drink was the better option.

So that was that. The player who sensationally announced himself to the darting world by beating the great Phil Taylor in the 2016 Perth Masters still hadn’t managed to figure out how to order from the menu of a fast-food chain.

Rewind to Cadby’s only stint in the PDC. That same season as sensationally defeating the GOAT, he claimed the World Youth Championship. Two years later, he almost added the UK Open title, losing in the final at a snowed-in Minehead to Gary Anderson.

With a promising career beckoning, Corey imploded and, in 2020, despite being in the top 64 on the Order of Merit, resigned his Tour Card.

After a few years’ hiatus, when goodness knows what the fella was up to, I was personally tasked with meeting him in Germany with two instructions from my then manager, Mac Elkin. Look after Corey and get him to win his Tour Card. Both boxes ticked.

That took us to reminiscing about that January fun-packed week in Kalkar.

“Do you recall nicking those shoes, mate?” Corey chuckled.

Yep, I do. Funny story which I better now tell. Twas the night before Q-School began, the muppet decided it was the perfect time to ask if he needed shoes to compete. My baffled expression told him he did. Being a Sunday night in Germany, when all the shops were closed, and stuck in the middle of nowhere wasn’t in our favour.

“Then what happened next, Paul?”

Okay, mate! Supposed to be me interviewing you here! As we were walking back to our on-site apartments, I spotted a pair of black dress shoes outside a dormitory door. One quick request to Corey to try them on and we scarpered, shoes in hand.

Next day, I asked the Aussie to tell me he didn’t have a Ferrari, but that didn’t work as well. If anyone is wondering where the shoes are now, well, after Cadby won his tour card on day two, he signed them in gold pen. Currently, they are in a cupboard in my bedroom.

After, on day two, winning the event and securing his professional status, Cadby then takes up the story:

“In hindsight, I should have come straight back with you to the UK. If I had done, I probably wouldn’t have done what I did.”

Certainly not. I’m struggling to think where the nearest Hungry Jacks restaurant is. Or even if we have one in England. But I knew what he meant.

“I just fell back in with my old mates and, before I knew it, I was robbing a burger place.”

Happens to us all! Whilst most players gaining a Tour Card were busy preparing – and myself and Mac Elkin were trying to get his visa over the line – Corey wasn’t exactly helping. Once he went off the radar, our suspicions were sadly realised. At that point, we had about as much chance of getting him international clearance as Rolf Harris had of presenting another children’s TV show.

Corey was metaphorically a kangaroo very much tied down to Australia. From that point onwards, the self-destruction button was used like a world leader starting a nuclear war.

So back to the present, and Cadby, sporting via Facetime what looks like his most sensible haircut to date – the bar not being very high on that one – and wearing a ring in his nose making him look like a badly toothed cow, seems to be back on the straight and narrow. Clean of drugs, the odd tinny at the darts and, thankfully, being a good husband and father, which, after getting to know him personally in Germany, I always knew deep down he could be.

Rumours had escalated about why he was inside the second time. The 31-year-old filled me in:

“My Aunty was being badly treated by her fella. Nothing physical but psychological abuse, not letting her out or contact anyone. So myself and a few mates who were armed with poles went to the house.

“I smashed the door down and started punching him. Then one of the lads smacked him with a pole. When the police arrested me, I wouldn’t give up the names of my mates. So it was all on me. I was charged with illegal entry to the house and assault.”

So wasn’t just me he ‘filled in’ then. That said, I guess people reading this with close family members who have been subjected to any variation of abuse can empathise. Not condoning it, but given the rumours circulating, you can understand Corey’s reasons.

“So I got 28 months for that. At that time, I was high on ice.”

By that, he doesn’t mean he’d been drinking Slush Puppys all day. It’s the street name for crystal methamphetamine. A pretty dangerous and highly illegal drug. The kind of one which makes you kick the crap out of a wrong ‘un I guess.

“Then I got out in January. Played a doubles tournament with my brother shortly after and we won. I played decent, averaging around 93.”

That is decent! Especially after a lack of practice. They don’t tend to give hardened convicts access to three sharply pointed items. It’s cards or chess, usually, and I’m pretty sure Corey thinks a pawn is a small pink curly fishy thing found in curries.

Now the future is thankfully bright. He’s been chucking well, maintaining a mid-90s standard – more than enough to compete on the PDC ProTour. And with practice and top-quality opposition, that would surely rise. But alas, that boat has sailed.

“Yeah, I doubt I’d very much get a visa now.”

You reckon, mate! That said, people seem to enter Britain far easier these days.

“I could row over.”

That’s the spirit, pal. I think you’d have absolutely no problem attempting a 3,000-mile trip in a small boat across unforgiving waters. You had more chance of getting them to hand you the safe in that Hungry Jacks.

But then he shared some really great news.

“My missus is expecting.”

Given Corey got out in January, and the only tits he’d seen in over a year were his cellmates, I correctly guessed October as the due date.

“That’s right!” he smirked.

Then, after I asked what sex the baby was and what they were calling it, he pointed at a tattoo of a crown on his upper arm and told me to guess. Vague a clue as it was, I decided to entertain him. Er… King? Ink? Mole?

As he kept shaking his head and grinning in that cheeky way he did – and after exhausting all ideas – I decided I wasn’t that arsed. Only that I hoped the baby would be healthy. I was confident that, once born, they’d give him a name other than ‘forearm’.

So, very soon, we are going to welcome another Cadby to the world. Massive congrats to him and his family. Corey won’t mind me saying I hope this one, when he or she gets old enough to nip into town with their mates for a bite to eat and wanders into a Hungry Jacks, they decide to just go for the burger and fries. Not the safe.

That’s when the Aussie told me he had to sign off. Not because he was tired, or his phone battery was dying. It was because Home & Away was about to start.

Man, how he has really changed!