MODUS has officially unveiled their line-up for next week’s Super Series showdown and for those still keeping count of where we are up to like prisoners etching marks into a cell wall, it will be Series 14, Week 6.
Before diving into the runners and riders in more detail, let’s first take a quick glance at the groups themselves:
GROUP A
Rob Grundy
Keegan Brown
Tomoya Goto
Jose Justicia
Callum Goffin
Brian Raman
GROUP B
Aaron Turner
Tom Lonsdale
Jake Neale
GROUP C
David Evans
Tommy Lishman
Jamie Owens
So there’s quite the international flavour scattered around Portsmouth next week. Some of these lads I know very well on a personal level, others I’d say I have more of an acquaintance with and then a few who I could walk straight past in Tesco without having the faintest clue who they were. To be fair, even if they recognised me, they’d probably walk on by.
I’ll begin with the man I know best.
KEEGAN BROWN
The Isle of Wight resident, named after famous England footballer Kevin Keegan, will often don the black-and-white colours of his beloved Newcastle United – at least when he isn’t sporting the pink he wears on the oche. Given that Kevin Keegan began his career at Scunthorpe United, supporting them is probably something you’d prefer to keep quieter than a priest’s internet browsing history. Lovely bloke though. During COVID, he earned the admiration of thousands through his tireless NHS work. Think of him as a tungsten-throwing Florence Nightingale.
Quite genuinely the worst possible human being to sit beside if you’re trying to lose weight. Every Pro Tour he arrives carrying what looks like the entire contents of a motorway service station meal deal aisle before generously launching it across the table for everyone to share. A beautiful trait as a friend. A catastrophic one if you’ve recently signed up for Slimming World.
Rarely does Keegan go longer than an hour without saying “top man”, which can function as thank you, appreciation, emotional support or what appears to be a legally binding diplomatic treaty. As a player, the talent is colossal. On his day, capable of living with absolutely anybody. But consistency remains the great plague of darts players everywhere. One-minute averaging 108, the next throwing doubles like a blindfolded monkey having a seizure.
Born on Guy Fawkes Night, Keegz can certainly produce fireworks on stage. Not literally of course because that would breach roughly every health and safety regulation introduced since the Great Fire of London. Still, with his NHS background, there’s probably no darts player on earth you’d rather have accidentally maim you given his fantastic first-aid skills and obvious rapid response time.
BRIAN RAMAN
I actually own a signed match-worn shirt from one of Brian’s Lakeside appearances. He asked for a lift to the airport and naturally I immediately turned into a dodgy football agent negotiating image rights. The fact I was driving there anyway feels irrelevant. Capitalism waits for nobody.
Brian is Belgian which means his relationship with fellow Flemish darts players alternates hourly between brotherhood and low-level civil war. One minute they’re hugging each other like long-lost relatives, the next staring across practice boards with the tension of divorced parents forced to attend the same nativity play.
Like Keegan, Raman possesses enormous ability. On form, he is a frighteningly dangerous operator capable of dismantling quality opposition with alarming ease. As soon as he decides to start doing it again, I am asking for another signed shirt.
DAVE EVANS
Nicknamed Stretch for reasons so obvious even a government committee could eventually work it out. It’s the same logic that would see someone with a giant round head called Moonboy or somebody from Blackpool going by the moniker of Hepatitis.
Away from darts, Dave works in kitchens and with the volume and creativity of his colourful language, he resembles Gordon Ramsay if somebody trapped him inside a medieval torture rack for several weeks. Late at night, Evans occasionally supplements his income by standing on large rocks in the middle of the sea with a giant lamp attached to his forehead, saving taxpayers millions on lighthouse expenditure.
TOMMY LISHMAN
One of the breakout performers on the Players Championship circuit this season thanks largely to his superb Challenge Tour displays and the endless avalanche of withdrawals currently plaguing the Pro Tour. Tommy has been mixing impressively with the elite ever since event five in Leicester and continues to look increasingly comfortable at that level.
Another member of the ever-growing ginger contingent appearing on the professional circuit, although Lishman may genuinely be the brightest shade of orange amongst them all. Under direct sunlight he probably needs air traffic control clearance and SPF 9000. If the lad ever visits Greece, it’s likely he will be returning in a large flask.
AARON TURNER
And finally, Aaron Turner. One of the most experienced names in the field and someone who has quietly remained a superb player for decades.
Ironically, despite being capable of beating virtually anyone in most amateur venues, he may not even be the best player in his own household given he’s married to Sky Sports pundit and top ladies star Laura Turner.
Only joking of course. I’m sure there’s barely anything between them and I have absolutely no desire to trigger domestic warfare. Both have proudly represented their nation on numerous occasions and both are thoroughly decent people.
Wishing them all the very best. And to the lads I don’t know or haven’t mentioned personally, good luck to you too. Although admittedly that sentiment does carry a slight undertone of “hope it all goes brilliantly lads… but if I’m honest, I’d still rather one of the above lot wins it.” Which probably makes me sound less impartial journalist and more parent at a school sports day aggressively favouring their own child during the egg-and-spoon race.
