Every country has its own darting heroes. And despite Canada not really being a hotbed of the sport – they’re far more arsed about ice hockey – there have been some notable countrymen who have made a mark for themselves.

Of course, it’s impossible to start this without highlighting the great John Part. A three-time World Champion who famously got pissed off at not having his face on a mural adorning the iconic Alexandra Palace. Quite frankly, I couldn’t blame him. Missing this North American legend off the wall of honour is worse than sticking Kirk Shepherd’s mug up there.

Nicknamed Darth Maple, it’s something which doesn’t really make too much sense unless the Star Wars galactic warlord was getting his jollies in Toronto in-between blowing up planets. Anyway, as well as being a legend on the oche, Part is now one of the sport’s top commentators and pundits, referred to as ‘Professor’ by another mic icon, Rod Studd.

The Canadian star is as good in the commentary box as he is at managing to keep his shirt buttons fully done up when being interviewed on stage. Both great skills which John has mastered to perfection, along with some fine sewing.

Now I am going to move on to a pair of blokes from the Land of the Mounties who, whilst their darting resumes may not be as sparkling as their decorated compatriot’s, are two of the best Canadian imports since Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart. Think of famous people from that nation and there are plenty. Then, unfortunately, Justin Bieber kind of ruins it before Wayne Gretzky comes skating onto the ice to make things all right in the nation again.

Your average Canadian tends to wake up to a massive grizzly bear staring at him through the bedroom window, have breakfast consisting of Corn Flakes drowned in maple sauce, hit the town and chat with a couple of Mounties before returning home, putting on a Bryan Adams CD, pouring a refreshing glass of Molson Coors and watching hockey all night.

Maybe I’m stereotyping a little there. After all, not every American is loud, overweight and obsessed with baseball. There are the odd few that are nothing like that.

For Jeff Smith and Matt Campbell though, their days are quite different, although a lot of the above probably features heavily on Matt’s schedule.

Before I take the piss and roast them like a Nando’s chicken, may I put on record that these are not just two absolutely world-class (minus the other six continents) darts players – they are also two of the most genuine fellas both on and off the oche. A pair of stand-up geezers I am proud to call my mates.

Right, now the niceties are done, let’s crack on. First off, Mr Jeff Smith.

Nicknamed The Silencer – and not because he prefers everyone to shut the fuck up when throwing like the fussy, fiery Irishman Neil Duff – but because… in fact, I don’t actually know the answer to that. But he’s too nice to call for calm. One look at Jeff and you immediately think he could make a great James Bond. Suave, well-spoken and oozing sex appeal – a major difference between him and the bloke I’m going to mention next. All Smith needs is a gadget-loaded car and the ability to kick the shit out of any member of SPECTRE and he’s a ready-made 007.

Then we have Matthew Campbell, who is more fitting for The Joker in the Batman franchise. Just an all-round top fella who happens to be fantastic at darts. That said, he once averaged about 43 in Hildesheim, which was more down to about two dozen Jägerbombs than his darting prowess. And don’t let his ‘been dragged through a thorn bush backwards’ appearance fool you – this guy is a real threat on the oche. Just not one to fashion.

Matt’s moniker is The Ginger Ninja. The first part is self-explanatory – if the sun comes out, Campbell goes inside for fear of frazzling. However, he is as much of a martial arts expert as he is a catalogue model. In combat, Matt probably has all the agility of a disabled pigeon in roller-skates. He clearly went with ninja purely for rhyming purposes and not because of his skills with deadly weapons.

There you go. Three legendary Canadian oche icons. Three of the nicest gentlemen you could ever wish to meet. Three guys who I hope will still speak to me after reading this!